Tales of the Ela-Verse

There’s no money in revenge

A Tale of Two Elas – Ela 6JINH2098

The attack on the village that had become their sort of home is what spurred Madame X and her friends into action.  They realized that they were going to die there unless they did something to get home.  They went downriver towards the front lines to see if they could find their other friends but after almost dying several times and coming up with no information they gave up on trying to reconnect with them and decided to just try getting home.  “That’s what eats at me more than I anything else.  We just left them there.  I tell myself…

A Tale of Two Elas – Ela 4QRMS8765

Remember that scene in Total Recall (two hundred and sixty one million box office) the original Total Recall not the remake, where the doctor comes in and tells Arnie that he’s off his nut and in order to get this shit together he needs to take a symbolic pill that will signal (to himself) his willingness to stop indulging in his fantasy hallucination but really it’s a knock-out pill because it’s all real?  Me neither, who would remember that, but when I was coming out of the King Theater I remember a dude walking in front of me telling his…

A Tale of Two Elas – Ela 6JINH2098

Sitting on a bench in the Cherry Hills Mall drinking a Tropical Dragon Twist smoothie seems like a strange place and thing to be doing to have a conversation about the nature of the universe and alternate dimensions, but then again, what venue wouldn’t seem strange for that conversation?  “You ever watch that show Outlander?” she asked me.  I shook my head “Well fuck that shit.  There was nothing romantic about my experience.” At first they all thought it was cool.  A couple of the guys were into Lord of the Rings and Conan and stuff like that.  What a…

A Tale of Two Elas – Ela 4QRMS8765

“This will never do.  Even with modesty bubbles we can’t have this scene.  This show is for children!  Not children children but you know what I mean.  Set aside the fact that girls are bombarded with messages about sexuality all the live long day and they’re already thinking about it and we’ve normalized promiscuity to the point where young women of any stripe will get naked for millions of masturbating assholes in return for a trucker hat but we’re supposed to pretend that’s not happening.  Plus two women in the scene!  What will the bible thumping cornbelt yahoos think about…

A Tale of Two Elas – Ela 6JINH2098

I thought I would be better at this.  I had a notion that my contacts in the world of marketing and advertising and Hollywood-adjacency would help me find things out.  Somehow.  Doesn’t make much sense in retrospect.  I had the idea that I’d call in a few favors and send out some feelers and bam!  Information would come flooding in about interdimensional travel.  Turns out that’s not the case.  It’s almost like my Clio award means nothing! When I mentioned this to Martialla she told me “It’s okay, it’s not a competition.” Which is good because if it was a…

A Tale of Two Elas – Ela 4QRMS8765

“Please.  Please.  For the love of God.  This is a tavern.  Give me some alcohol!  A tavern is a place that sells beer and wine and hard cider.  That’s what a tavern is why don’t you have it?!  Why?  I need to get drunk.  I’m tired and everything hurts and I haven’t had a solid bowel movement in weeks and I’m starving.  Everything here tastes like rice pudding made from dusty cabbage.  I need some real food!  I need some pizza and cake and some doughnuts and a club sandwich and hot dog and a hamburger and some muffins and…

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