Pieces of other Ela stories
Ela pscraps – Psaltery Psalm of the Pseudoscorpion
Scorpulator. I hate that guy. I’ve told him to fuck off a million times and he keeps harassing me. This part of being a superhero that no one talks about. If a scorpion themed asshole is all up in your business there’s no one to call about it. You have a secret identity so no one will fuck you with in your civilian life but it cuts both ways. It’s like how drug dealers can’t call the cops when someone rips them off. You have to take care of your own shit. Not to mention the fact that as a…
Ela pscraps – Psaltery Psalm of the Pseudoscorpion
Do you know what a pseudoscorpion is? Of course you don’t. Why would anyone know that? Pseudoscorpions are flat arachnids with pear-shaped bodies and pincer-like pedipalps that resemble the claws of true scorpions. They’re everywhere all the time but they’re so little hardly anyone ever notices them. Pseudoscorpions are beneficial to humans because they eat other bugs that we don’t like hanging around our stuff. When they want to go someplace new they grab onto a fly and go wherever that fly is headed. They hibernate through the winter in silk cocoons. I know all these stupid facts because I…
Ela scraps – For a Few Elas More
I often wonder that when we’re playing outlaw dress up if there’s truly any point in strapping down my ample natural gifts. When someone has a gun in your face is that person they really looking that closely at the body of the masked “man” doing the gun pointing? No one expects to be waylaid by a lady, that’s the main thing. People see what they want to see. Still, there’s no reason to take chances, which is why Diamond Lil and Lavender Alice were yanking on the strips around my chest like they were rough men working a cut…
Ela scraps – For a Few Elas More
Martialla claims to be a better shot than Lillian Smith or Annie Oakley with a Colt-Burgess rifle. Not with any other kind of firearm but specifically with a Colt-Burgess rifle. Sometimes people get on her back because they think that she’s claiming to be a better shot than Lillian Smith or Annie Oakley overall she’ll spend a long time explaining that she never claimed that ever, only that she’s a better shot than either of them WITH a Colt-Burgess rifle. The woman is out of her damn mind the way she lectures about that. I don’t know if that claim…
Ela scraps – For a Few Elas More
Normally loosening a corset is quite an undertaking, depending on the orneriness of the lady’s quilted waistcoat in question it’s a maneuver that can be an all-day campaign, requiring the enlistment of many allies to bring to a conclusion. However, on this occasion I was wearing a corset with a quick-lease mechanism of my own design (patent pending) that allowed me instant relief. “Fucking Cleveland” I remarked as I took a well-needed deep breath free of whalebone interference. Martialla nodded in agreeance as she stood looking out the door onto balcony. “He pardons everyone except my James? Set aside the…
Ela scraps – Silence of the Hogs
“Are you sure about this?” Marti whined. “Yes” I told her, tightening the straps I had just purchased from 7th Heaven hours ago snuggly around her ankles and wrists, not sure at all about anything. “I think I should still be in the hospital, I can’t feel my face” she looked around nervously. “You’re fine” I assured her. That’s not what the lady at the hospital said when I signed her out but there was no reason to upset her. She’s one of those high-strung sorts. My theory is that in short order she’s going to be a lot worse or…
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