I do it all for the kids

I don’t feel comfortable around kids.  Thankfully it doesn’t come up much.  Sometimes people will bring a kid backstage.  They don’t usually seem thrilled to be there.  If they like wrestling they thought they were going to meet their heroes from TV, not a union certified electrician who does this on the weekends in tights his sister made him from an old costume she wore in dance class.  If they don’t like wrestling the whole thing is a waste of time anyway.

Some promoters try to sell wrestling as family entertainment for kids.  I get it in the sense that it’s a ridiculous thing for an adult to like.  I don’t get why it would be for kids.  Why do you want kids to see pretend violence?  They probably shouldn’t see any violence but fake violence seems worse than real violence. 

You see in the news that some kid breaks his friend’s neck with a powerbomb and you think “his parents are morons” and that the kid can’t be too bright either.  But if a wrestler is showing that kid that you can slam someone on their head and they’re just hurt for a few seconds then it’s fine, you can’t say that didn’t have any effect.  Dumbness aside.

I was in the bathroom spitting blood into the sink after my match because I bit my tongue deep enough I could see a wound.  I don’t know how I did it.  Must have been the corner spot.  I don’t remember my tongue hurting before that. 

I learned that a tongue injury is a problem for me because I can’t pronounce my healing spell right to fix the injury.  Which pisses me off because I know that I don’t actually need to say anything.  I should just be able to think about it and make it happen. 

I was getting worked up about sucking at magic when I noticed a kid was in there staring at me.  I figured he was freaked out by all the blood so I told him I was okay.  What it sounded like was I said “Eco clay lids”.  He continued to stare.  I looked around and slurred at him that this was the women’s bathroom, asking if he was looking for his mom. 

I’m missing a piece of my bottom lip from one of the times I got cut.  I’ve gotten good at not spitting on people when I talk.  There’s an art to it.  But that’s when I don’t have a tongue that’s cut almost in half.  I had all this blood in my mouth and it mixed with the spit into a slurry.  So that a blob of that blood slurry got jammed in my lip-hole and I sprayed some blood and spit in the air.  I don’t think any of it hit the kid but I was still freaked out that I had done it. 

“Oh shit, sorry kid” came out pretty clearly other than sounding more like thit. 

He was still staring at me like he was trying to bore a hole through my body with his eyes and he said “I need your help.”

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