Ela scraps – Mermaid

(Second of two Ela mermaid scraps, this one I might come back to some day, I like it)

Stolen from a blog about mythology, which itself has no attribution so robbing a thief is fine?

“Hey, ugly, I want you to make me a human lady with human lady legs so I can go on land.  And make it snappy, just get on with it, don’t need to hear you sing a whole song about it before you agree to do it.”

Underlee was annoyed by the rudeness of her guest but she was too distracted being startled by fact that someone had sneaked into her sea-cave without her noticing to dwell on the rudeness overly much.  Where were her (literally) Godsforaken eels at?  When she’s sleeping they’re supposed to watch out for this kind of thing, not let some mer-slut swim up on her unannounced!  What kind of first impression is that, she has a reputation to maintain!

Underlee tried to casually smooth out her tangle of tentacle-hair as she floated into a vertical position “Sorry dearie, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Look” said the pushy little fish-lady “I’m here to make a deal with the Devils with you.  I want you to make me a human, what seemingly reasonable thing do you want in return for doing that?”

Underlee’s eyes glittered with theatrical flare “A deal is to be struck is that it?  Wellllllllllllllll . . .”

“No singing I said!” the bossy mermaid held up a hand.

“Oh you’re no fun” Underlee pouted.

“So I’ve been told” the mermaid remarked dryly, which is really something of an accomplishment when you’re underwater “can we get on with this?  I don’t have all day, if you’re not down to clownfish I need to see if the Kraken wants to play seaweed ball.”

“Seaweed ball?” She scoffed “That’s not a thing, you made that up.  Very well then little one” Underlee drew herself to full power like a pufferfish “I shall grant you your request, but in return I shall require your great beauty!” 

“That’s it?” said the mermaid, interrupting Underlee before she could get a good evil cackle going “fine, you want my beauty it’s yours, let’s do this thing.  How do you get it off?  Like with a saw or something?”

Underlee’s multitude of lobster legs wiggled underneath her in consternation “But, but, how are you to win the heart of your landlubber lover without your great beauty?”

Her face screwed up like that of a sour rockfish “Lover?  There’s no lover involved in this, this is a mission of revenge pure and simple.  I want you to make me human so I can go alandin’ and reap bloody vengeance on those that wronged me.  Murder and mayhem that’s the order of the day, not some silly crush.  Why would I go onto land to find a lover?  That makes no sense.”

Underlee grunted softly “Huh.  Well.  Don’t get much of that around here.  What did these people you want revenge on do to you?  Harpoon your favorite whale?”

“They caught me in a net!”

Underlee waited a minute “And then what?”

“And then they threw me back!”

“That’s it?” Underlee asked, confused.

The mer-woman clenched her tiny fists in tiny rage “A net!  I was in a net!  They put me in a net!  That was like half an hour of my day, just stuck in a net like an idiot!  Not to mention a couple of them felt me up to make sure I wasn’t a manatee, which is just insulting on the face of it.   No one catches me in a net!  You put me in a net and you’re going to pay!”

“Huh.  Okay.  Who are you?”

She crossed her arms sullenly “Ela. One L.”

“That’s it?  I’ve never heard a mer-name that short.”

“Well my given name is Elalarialelia but no one calls me that.  Are we going to do this or what?  I feel like I’ve been here for half a day already, if we have a deal get on with it!”

Underlee laughed “It’s literally been three minutes since you got here, I can see why you’re so mad about being stuck in that net if you’re always this impatient.   Well, if you want to go up there just to cause suffering there’s no need for the whole crooked deal, didn’t read the fine print, be careful what you wish for schtick, the idea behind all that is to cause misery and it sounds like that’s what you’re going to do anyway.  I can just humanize you.”

Ela nodded “Thanks, now you’re doing something to help me.  As long as you’re in there tinkering around with my body can you give me some magic powers to help me track down and massacre the crew of the Duke Eagle?”

Underlee put a long pale white crab-claw-finger to her lipless lamprey mouth “What did you have in mind?”

“How about the strength of a mighty whale, the ferocity of a giant squid, and the speed of the deadly deadly dolphin?  Maybe throw in some jellyfish venom or something too.  Surprise me.”

Underlee was taken again “Gees lady, you are hardcore.”

She shook her head angrily “What part of this don’t you understand?  Are you slow or something?  They put me in A NET.”

Leave a Reply