I found a hose outside the torture house but no water came out of it. I stood there holding the nozzle over my head for a long time willing it to work. Someday I’ll catch a break.
I asked Merlin if he could drive since I had several dozen concussions but he said he doesn’t know how.
“You don’t know how to drive stick or you don’t know how to drive at all?” I asked. For some reason that was important to me at the time.
Not at all. I sat with my hands clinging to the wheel for a long time trying to get my shit together enough to make the car go.
“Sorry about your balls” I told Merlin.
He said thanks and then started crying. His nutsack was black and crusty when I pulled his underwear up. I bet his junk won’t work anymore. I drove on the wrong side of the road for a while but there were no other cars so we didn’t die.
I found a truck stop that had showers. For $27 I got a new shirt with a platypus on it, a meal ticket, and the shower. That’s a good deal.
There was a line for the showers so we had to wait in the lounge. I stayed standing so I wouldn’t get blood on their couches or chairs. There were some board games and magazines in the lounge. There were also a bunch of guys that asked “what the fuck happened to you?” I told them that you shouldn’t hit a deer while driving a convertible.
“It was a like a Gallagher concert” Merlin managed to squeak out. I don’t know what that means but it got some laughs.
One guy traded codes with me so I could go ahead of him into the shower room. Sitting on the toilet peeling off my bloody pants I thought that he probably memorized the code so he could come in and rape me.
He didn’t. He was just being nice.
After we got cleaned up we sat in the little food court area. The eggs weren’t great and the bacon was even worse but there was a lot of it. Merlin just had coffee.
“Since I saved your life are you going to tell me what’s going on?” I asked him, so tired I barely cared at that point.
“Aren’t you the one who put me in danger?” was his reply.
“I don’t fucking know anymore.”
