Someone commented that they’re sick of me bragging about my injuries. That hurt my feelings a little. I’m not bragging. I’m giving context. I’m trying to demonstrate that when I say how much X hurts that’s with a background of having experienced Y and Z. I failed to communicate the way I wanted.
So I won’t talk about how I’ve been stabbed and shot and beaten. I’ve been burned before. Sorry if that sounds like bragging. You can go back and read about that if you want. I only bring that up to say that getting blow-torched on the back is way worse than a hot stove burner to the tit.
I don’t know if they were trying to torture me too or if they were trying to kill me with fire. Maybe they’re just fucking pyros. Maybe they were trying to burn me because I’m a witch in their eyes and that’s what the bible says they’re supposed to do.
Something happened when I felt that pain. I felt like I was dead but I was still feeling pain. Everything was gone except my ability to feel pain. Maybe that’s what it feels like to be a zombie. A real zombie like Stella told me about not an animated corpse. I could feel my wounds bleeding, I could feel my fingers twitching, the pain in my jaw from my teeth clenching was almost as bad as my shoulder where they burned me.
I could feel that but it was like I wasn’t there anymore. Like I was a virtual reality character that was being puppeteered by someone else. Someone who was trying to push me down under water that wasn’t there, to drown me on dry land. I’ve felt some weird shit, but nothing like that.
I closed my eyes and when I opened them again blood was clinging to my face like I had shoved it in a blood birthday cake and with sticky blood frosting. My nose was so filled with thick blood that I started choking and blowing blood snot out as hard as I could. My shirt was ripped and hanging around my waist like a belt. I had long blonde hairs stuck under my nails and in my teeth.
The blood on me was so tacky it was like peanut butter.
Patsy was facedown but I could see that she was still breathing. Toni was sat against the wall with her neck was at a funny angle. Not funny, broken. But her eyes were open and they were darting around fearfully.
The bottoms of my feet hurt so badly each step was a fucking adventure. I Frankenstein my way over to the plastic whatever thing Merlin was strapped to and started unbuckling him as slowly as humanly possible.