Coldplay sucks

I’ve heard people say that when they had a near death experience a sense of calm came over them, they felt love and joy from the universe.  That would have been nice. 

What I thought about was how no one would ever find my body.  I was okay with that.  Preferred it actually.  I don’t need anyone touching my dead body.  I would have just been gone.  I don’t have anyone to miss me.  I doubt I even would have warranted one of those “whatever happened to this obscure wrestler?” articles.  They only do that for pretty girls.  Onlyfans.  Onlyfans is what they’re doing.

Aside from a couple of pissed off promoters running shows over the next few weeks no one would have known that I was gone at all.  Amazing Grace?  I think she quit the business.  Don’t know what she’s doing now.  Leave no trace, that’s what we’re supposed to do right?

What made me sad is thinking about Royale’s trunk.  Not only the magic knowledge lost but that someone would find it and they might laugh at him.  Crazy old man thought he could do real magic. 

I had a vision in my mind of some fat asshole cop putting his greasy hands on Royale’s stuff, rifling through the papers and laughing about it with his asshole friends.  Laugh at me all you want, I don’t care, but I didn’t like thinking about people laughing at Royale. 

Maybe that’s what saved me. 

As I lay there on the damp yellow carpet for the nowhere land of empty hallways holding my guts in and bleeding to death I thought that I should have written down the things I learned.  I kind of did with this blog but the funny thing is someone magic is more likely to find some papers in an old box than this website.  They have a way of turning up. 

Like magic.

The other thing I thought is that I should have practiced noclipping more.  If this was a movie when the monster attacked me I would have avoided its claws by noclipping away in a split second before it’s claws tore me all to pieces.  Instead all I could do is flop into another dimensions, or whatever that is, AFTER catching a fatal wound. 

I never want to practice noclipping because that place is fucking creepy.  And that’s before you think about the dozens or hundreds of women that were sent there to die of dehydration.  I was so focused on the bug spirit thing I never really stopped to think about that piece of it.  How the hell did Christie Lane learn to noclip?  Honestly, what the fuck? 

Anyway, I almost died but then I didn’t.  I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.

Leave a Reply