I’ve never pepper sprayed anyone, I have blinded people with magic. I learned the hard way that after you shoot your wad if you’re not going to run away, which you probably should, you need to at least displace.
If the person you blinded is still rarin’ to go you want to make sure that you’re not standing in the same spot. That’s where they’re going to lunge. Make sure you’re not there. Remember when those Christian witch-killers shot me just by sound after I blinded them? That was fucking impressive.
The Librarian did not do that. It was probably her first time. Not only did she not sidestep, she came at me and tried to grab the book away. Even blinded that was a bad move. I got her in a chokehold so easily it was like she wanted me to choke her. She came around before my eyes stopped burning but I had her pinned.
“Does no one else work here? I would have thought someone would come in with all that noise.”
“No” she gasped “I’m the only one here. You’re crushing me.”
“Yeah, that’ll happen.”
Turns out the whole thing was a hilarious misunderstanding. She thought that I was one of Darla’s cultists coming to steal the book just like I thought that she was one of Darla’s cultists holding onto the book. Like in those stupid movies where Batman and Superman fight over Lois Lane. After we had that figured that out we were took a seat across the table in the breakroom eye-watering at each other.
“So what’s the deal with this book?”
When I asked her where the book came from and why she was guarding it she asked me “have you heard of La Lechuza?”
“Yeah. So let me guess, that book used to contain the spirit of an immortal sorcerer that was burned to ashes in the fifties and turned into ink?”
She was already pretty white on account of the choking and throwing up and crying but she managed to turn another shade whiter.
“She was already pretty white on account of the choking and throwing up and crying but…” Lol.