I played a reporter in a movie where a Brazilian military patrol and an Argentinian military patrol bump into each other and they both think the other has crossed the border so they throw a few shots at each other. In the movie the US army people/Greek chorus say this happens all the time and is usually no big deal but this time one side called in back-up so the other side called in artillery so the other side called in air support so a couple dudes having a “shoving match” turned into a full-scale military fuck-up.
Everything about that movie was great except for the performances. It was by far the movie I was in that that had the most money and competency behind it that ended up being terrible anyhow. I worked in Hollywood for years and I never came to understand how the system worked, why would you put all that money and effort into a movie and then cast Frank Shamrock and Mirko Cro Cop as your leads? To say nothing of Melissa Hill.
I don’t know if that movie was based on a true incident, I’ll admit that my knowledge of South American military history is spotty at best, but that seems like something that probably happens in war. I bet the Battle of the Bulge happened because someone on the Allied side went to take a leak and saw another guy on the other side jerking off behind a tree and they shot at each other and then it all spiraled out of control. [Martialla’s note – no]
I don’t know how we got turned around but when we left the stupid useless robot-hole on the shores of Pollution Lake we came to the river (or a river anyway) and it was running north-south instead of east-west. I’m going to say that’s because the poles are screwed up and compasses don’t work anymore. We don’t have a compass but that’s still what I’m going with.
I was standing on top of the truck looking around for landmarks while Martialla and Lucien bickered over one of their useless maps (this is going to sound like a joke but I swear they were looking at it upside down) when Shwrym tapped me on the leg and pointed. It took me a minute to see what she was on about, I think my eyesight has degraded about fifteen degrees here in flying grit and radiation land, when I saw two of the bumpy-headed warrior elite Invincible people going at it like angry piston driven sex robots.
I’ve have in my never seen such angry looking intercourse, and once walked in on Russel Crowe. It was like each of them was thinking “I will drive me pelvis THROUGH your pelvis!!!” If there was some kind of competitive fucking event in the Olympics I think that’s what it would look like when the competitors were going for the gold. They had trained hard for this for years, sacrificed, and bled for this and nothing was going to stop them from achieving total victory by grinding their foe’s genitals to dust. I felt a little sympathy twinge down south for the punishment being dealt out.
I’m not much of a shot with a rifle so I wasn’t carrying one of the Nerf-91s around but I grabbed one out of the truck and fired a burst at the angry lovers. I wasn’t actually trying to hit them but one of them jerked like they had been hit. Coming under fire while you’re boning has to be a real shock but they rallied admirably to scramble onto a scrap-cycle and bare ass it off to the west. Which explains their brutal lovemaking style. I’ve ridden on one of those post-apocalyptic dirt bikes and it pounds the hell out of your groin. If you endure that on the reg you have to kick it up a notching to feel anything recreational.
“What the hell Ela?!” Martialla popped up from the map like a startled gopher “Why didn’t you [oint them out to someone who can actually shoot? They’re getting away!”
“I know” I nodded “I wasn’t trying to kill them, I wanted to see where they’d go.”
Where they goed was to the Invincible forward airbase. Well they tried to anyway, once we saw the base in the distance we assumed that’s where they were going and we shot them down before they got there. Seems like a safe assumption that’s where they were headed.
As far as bases go there wasn’t much to it, just some tents and a couple of wood frame “buildings” that were really just big tents lying about being buildings and then half a dozen junk-heap planes in a row. That was it, I didn’t even see anyone on guard duty. I expected more from the bumpy-heads. I should come up with a name for them. Technically I think they’re the only ones called the Invincible and everyone else in that army are their vassal warriors and lackeys and whatnot, but that ship has sailed. I’ve used the term too loosely to go back now.
I had no idea how many of them were down there but I didn’t think it could be any more than forty, fifty tops, and what were we going to do? Not attack them?