Even a lot of fleabag motels have their own stationary.  I wonder why.  What would anyone use it for?  

I was lying on the bed drifting in and out of sleep and waiting for the sweet release of death.  I was also halfway watching a classic movie marathon.  The first part of Dark of the Sun, combined with the middle of Act of Violence, and the end of Kelly’s Heroes makes a weirdly good movie.

I noticed that the complementary Royal Tropic Park Motel notepad on the chipped desk bolted to the wall was filling itself up.  Words were appearing on it I mean.  There’s a name for that.  Spirit writing but there’s a fancy name too.  Psycho something.  The name is always psycho something with magic people.

“Do as you are told and it will stop”.  Just that over and over again.  

I took some cold medicine and slept for 3 hours.  Then I called the nursing home.  The dude on the phone said that he wasn’t sure if he should let me talk to Joanne because she had been “riled up” since my visit.  

He was doing that thing people do where they’re going to give you what you want but they want you to beg them first.  I told him I was sick out of my mind and just to put her on the god damn phone.  I would be happy to call back later so he could get off on acting like a bigshot.

When Joanne got on the line she had to crow about her “victory” for a while.  Then we got into a stupid comedy routine where she’d ask me if I was going to do it, I’d say yes in an unconvincing manner and she’d ask me if I was being sarcastic and I’d say no in an unconvincing manner and so on.  

The line went dead and two seconds later I felt completely fine.  I figured she had hung up and then unbound the spell.  

I was wrong.  Instead she dropped dead.  The nursing home people aren’t sure what had happened, she collapsed while we were on the phone and was stone cold dead in a few minutes.  

My theory is that she got pissed at me while we were talking and tried to throw another hex on me.  That combined with the fact that she hadn’t done magic in a long time, and the fact that she was super old, and the fact that she already had at least two other spells going was too much strain for her.  

Maybe that should be my method.  Annoy evil mages until they overexert themselves attacking me and die.  

Nothing immoral about that.    

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