Yes, they named their football team “The Hockey”

I picked up a booking I knew was going to be shit going in.  Someone decided that it would be a good idea to have a couple wrestling matches as the half-time show for an indoor football league game. 

Sounds like an okay idea.  It takes time to set up a wrestling ring is the problem.  Imagine you’re at Bill Gray’s Regional Iceplex watching the hated Port Huron Hockey take a 50-19 lead into halftime on your beloved Rochester Raiders. 

You hear there’s going to be some wrestling next.  Great, if you’re into watching guys that aren’t even good enough for the arena league or the XFL play football you’re probably into wrestling too.  But then 15 minutes go by and they’re still setting up the ring?  This isn’t the Superbowl.  Halftime at this game should be over in 15 minutes. 

It takes nearly half an hour to get the ring ready and then the first match is a fifteen minute Broadway?  I was surprised I didn’t get more ice thrown at me when I came out for the second match.  I thank god they don’t sell beer in the bottle. 

Spider Lady 3 and I weren’t 60 seconds into our match when I see there are people fighting down by the ring.  Spider Lady 3 tries to bail out but the ref and I both grab her.  When the fans go nuts the safest place to be is in the ring. 

If you’re not used to it it’s actually really awkward trying get into a wrestling ring.  I saw a gold star five star Micheline rated whatever the fuck college track guy blow out both his knees trying to be cool and jump into a wrestling ring his first day of training.  And it’s pretty easy to knock someone’s ass off while they’re struggling to get into the ring.

Some of the wrestlers come out to try and help the two security guys who were getting their asses kicked and then more people come out of the stands.  I don’t know what the technical definition of a riot is but it sure seemed like one to me. 

Out of the whole thing you know what pissed me off the most?  The morning drive-time DJ asshole working the PA decided he needed to put this thing to music.  He played “You’re the Best”, “Maniac”, and “Eye of the Tiger” while people were getting stomped.  And then that song from Cops when the cops showed up. 

I’m not proud of it, but after we got out of there I went up to the booth and punched that guy in the stomach myself.  Fuck you Fat Mike.  And the entire Morning Zoo Crew.

When I met up with Huck and Larry in the parking lot her face was covered with blood.  She wasn’t even near the field when this happened, she was in the bathroom and some dude ran in and straight up punched her in the face for no reason other than to do it.  Fuck that dude too. 

When I was healing her she didn’t say anything sad and poignant about being used to getting blasted in the face like she would if his was a TV show. 

1 Comment

  1. I was going to say that 50 goals seemed a little high even for minor league hockey, but then I realized that the answer to my question was already in the title.

    Also, I suspect a decent percentage of us would take a shot at the morning drive time radio guys if the opportunity presented itself.

    Liked by 1 person

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