I do most of my drinking alone in my car or a motel room. Like a well-adjusted person. Huck and Larry have been trying to cheer me up. They pointed out a bar that has a fifty cent beer night. I’ll pop for that offer. What might cheer me up more is if they left me the fuck alone.
Some people assume that I don’t get hit on in bars. They’re wrong. There’s a reason the expression “anything that moves” exists.
Go to a horse farm when they’re tricking a stud and you’ll see they get the lucky fella going at it with a big rubber rump on some boards. It doesn’t look or smell or feel anything like a lady horse. Human men out there aren’t much different. Emergency services are called to rescue dudes with their dicks caught in mailboxes so often they have a code for it.
A line they try on me often is some variation of “hey, I don’t care you’re ugly baby, I’ll do you anyway”. The sad part is I bet at least half of them genuinely think they’re being nice when they say that. Maybe more than half.
Tonight’s contender looked like a 17-year old who got in with his brother’s ID. His “move” was to sit down next to me and talk about his pet painted lizard and how cool it was. I told him that was very nice but I wasn’t in the mood to chat so he should move along.
Like the movies teach him he didn’t give up. Instead of leaving he said that it looked like I was deep in thought about something. He asked what I was thinking about.
I told him I was wondering why the inspect spirits hadn’t already taken over everyone in the world. There’s a choke point because the first person to let them cross over has to be someone who could do magic in a more magic rich time in the cycle of magic, but after that these seems to be no limit. It takes time but patient zero can put a bug spirit in anyone.
I said to him, surely Christine Lane by himself wasn’t keeping a lid on this problem, doesn’t that mean that there must be more bughunters out there? How is this problem not already everywhere? And if there are others how do I find them?
His response “I don’t know much about insect spirits but I’d like to learn more about them. Can I get you a drink?”
I bet an insect possessed woman could walk into a bar fully bugged out and some dude would throw back a few shots and take a run at her beetlegina.
Rocket Cat 
That “new words of the year” post on the OED blog is going to be really awkward when they have to explain “beetlegina.”
LikeLiked by 1 person