No thanks for the memories

Ithaca must be a swankier place than I thought.  The cheapest car I could find was a 2012 Scion for 6 grand.  I’ve never looked to buy a car before and not been able to find one with a sale price in the 100s of dollars.  They don’t allow shit like that in Ithaca. 

I thought that my plan was a bust, but Huck and Larry came to my rescue.  I sold my car for salvage to the body shop and with that money a friend of a friend of a friend of a drug dealer of a cousin of a parole officer of theirs hooked me up with a 2002 Mitsubishi Sport with only 150,000 miles on it.  

With all my worldly possessions and all their worldly possessions crammed in there along with Randy, Ruth & Robin it was real cozy in that Sport.   

It’s barely an hour drive to Syracuse but you didn’t hear Randy not complaining about it.  Are there any road comics that aren’t unbearable chores?  I haven’t met one yet.  Robin seems okay.  Maybe it’s just the male road comics that are endlessly shit-talking assholes. 

Randy had a lot of opinions that he needed to share about his feelings regarding people like me and Huck/Larry.  You know, poor people.  Huck and Larry weren’t offended by his blatant insults.  I bet people see them and think “oh shit, these meth-heads are going to stab me” but they’re not like that at all.  Nothing offends them, they’re just happy someone is talking to them. 

The only thing that seems to bother them is that I call him Larry instead of Finn. 

I was offended enough for all three of us.  I was torn between my desire to punch Randy in the face repeatedly until that face was gone and the knowledge that I need to be nice to him so he’ll tell me what the fuck is going on.   

I dropped the 3 Rs off at the Best Western Plus and then continued onto the cheaper Best Western by the fairgrounds.  I wonder what that + gets you for 10 extra bucks a night.   

After sitting in the room staring at each other awkwardly for a while Huck asked me what I normally do other than sit around in a hotel room.  I told them that I’m usually on my way to a show.  They both said repeatedly “we have nowhere to be”.   They seemed proud of it.   

A couple of times Larry told long meandering stories about stuff he says we did growing up together.  I don’t know if he’s confused or making shit up or I just don’t remember any of it.  I’m pretty sure I never raised puppies with him and then one of the other foster kids killed the puppies so I beat that kid until his eye popped out. 

I think I would remember that. 

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