In the butt Bob

I forgot how strong these bug monsters are.  That’s a sentence not many people get to say.

I nailed spider-man right in the spider-eye with my flying super-person super-punch but it didn’t seem to bother him.  I think I could have overpowered spider-man but I had three things working against me. 

One, I wasn’t just grappling with spider-man, I also had mosquito-face coming at me from the other side.  He bashed me in the head so hard my vision went out for a second. 

Even so I think I could have handled both of them, 42561’s spells are potent and I know my way around a brawl.  The second problem was that the Kia kid was sitting bucking shots off and blasted me in the ass.  That didn’t help me. 

Still, even asshot and two on one I would have liked my chances that I could have turned it around.  There was a third problem though, flannel shirt cast a spell on me that made me confused and clumsy.  It was like I was suddenly two bottles of fireball whiskey down in an instant. 

I tried to cast a cleansing spell but the words wouldn’t come.  I couldn’t concentrate.  I felt something stab into me, probably a bug-claw or arm-scythe or whatever the fuck you all killing parts on a magic bug monsters.  Whatever it was I felt it get caught on the back of my ribs.

That’s when I realized I was going to die.  You know what I thought?  “This is stupid.” 

I couple times before I thought I might die.  Those times I was scared or mad or resigned.  The difference in those situations I knew what I was getting into beforehand.  This was just dumb.  When I first saw the bug people monsters I thought “Oh shit, this again?”  Like it was a chore.  An inconvenience like when they’re out of shakes at McDonalds. 

I got hit in the jaw.  Hard.  I felt my mouth was filling with blood.  Maybe there’s a lesson about not underestimating danger. 

I didn’t die obviously because you’re reading this.  Who saved me?  I did. 

Pretty good cliffhanger. 


      1. When you graduate to the advanced version, you start each chapter with the “Ya’ll Ready for This?” song. (Needless to say, the reader will not be ready.)

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