In the butt Bob

I forgot how strong these bug monsters are.  That’s a sentence not many people get to say.

I nailed spider-man right in the spider-eye with my flying super-person super-punch but it didn’t seem to bother him.  I think I could have overpowered spider-man but I had three things working against me. 

One, I wasn’t just grappling with spider-man, I also had mosquito-face coming at me from the other side.  He bashed me in the head so hard my vision went out for a second. 

Even so I think I could have handled both of them, 42561’s spells are potent and I know my way around a brawl.  The second problem was that the Kia kid was sitting bucking shots off and blasted me in the ass.  That didn’t help me. 

Still, even asshot and two on one I would have liked my chances that I could have turned it around.  There was a third problem though, flannel shirt cast a spell on me that made me confused and clumsy.  It was like I was suddenly two bottles of fireball whiskey down in an instant. 

I tried to cast a cleansing spell but the words wouldn’t come.  I couldn’t concentrate.  I felt something stab into me, probably a bug-claw or arm-scythe or whatever the fuck you all killing parts on a magic bug monsters.  Whatever it was I felt it get caught on the back of my ribs.

That’s when I realized I was going to die.  You know what I thought?  “This is stupid.” 

I couple times before I thought I might die.  Those times I was scared or mad or resigned.  The difference in those situations I knew what I was getting into beforehand.  This was just dumb.  When I first saw the bug people monsters I thought “Oh shit, this again?”  Like it was a chore.  An inconvenience like when they’re out of shakes at McDonalds. 

I got hit in the jaw.  Hard.  I felt my mouth was filling with blood.  Maybe there’s a lesson about not underestimating danger. 

I didn’t die obviously because you’re reading this.  Who saved me?  I did. 

Pretty good cliffhanger. 


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