Excuse me sir

I occasionally get called “sir” or in other ways am confused for a man.  Because of my height and build and general “unladylike” demeanor.  I know some other of my peers who get pissed when that happens.  I watched a woman named Bull beat a gas station clerk senseless for making that mistake.  If you’re 6’2, 200+ and you call yourself Bull I think you need to be willing to forgive that mistake.

I wasn’t sure at first if the last person out of the van was a woman.  I figured it out though.  The sports bra was a tip-off, but I thought it was a tank at first.  She had a thick flannel over that with a bandana around her head pulled to her eyes and loose-fitting khaki pants.

She was the one demanding that Randy come on down so the rest of us could be spared.

For a second I tried to remember if I had ever used the name Randy but I saw from the look on his face that one of the men drag/holding the woman who got shot was obviously Randy.  He was probably in his 50s with slicked back hair and dark clothes.  He looked scared shitless.

Soccer mom, who I was still holding in my arms without realizing it, shook me off and scrambled for her phone.  In retrospect it’s surprising a bunch of people weren’t already doing that.  The exterminator guy pointed his gun at her and told her to drop it.

I tried my malfunction spell and what happened instead was the gun went off. 

Which technically means the spell worked since he didn’t pull the trigger.

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