Fists of Gary

She caught me by surprise.  That’s what it was.  When she stood up I thought she was going to throw a tantrum.  Scream and shout and maybe knock the laptop off my desk.  Or my pen cup.  Like a child would do when you tell them no.  Because that’s what she is in effect.  A child.

I didn’t expect her to put her hands on me. 

She reached across the desk, her man hand as quick as a slimy eel, and she caught me by my Natural Tussah Silk Tie.  It was handmade in London!  By hand.  It probably costs more than her entire wardrobe and she grabbed it like a porky Midwesterner pawing after their fried mayonnaise balls that roll under the couch.  My maid never get her oily hand mark off it.  

See here’s the thing.  Not only did she catch me by surprise but she’s also a woman.  Marginally, but still a woman.  So I wasn’t thinking about fighting back right away when she started clawing at me.  If a man was grabbing me I would have knocked him out with one of my capoeira kick techniques.  100%.  No doubt.  He would have been laid out on the floor. 

But here’s the thing about that, even after all that metoo crap and timesup and whatever you still can’t hit women even when they’re beating on you.  That was the second issue.  She caught me off guard by doing something insane and illegal, and the fact that she’s a woman.  That’s what kept me from using my mastery of the arts to take her out. 

I admit that magically I wasn’t prepared for an attack.  I have all my defenses at my home.  I never thought that anyone would attack me in my office!  There are rules to living in polite society.  I forgot that Grace isn’t part of any society.

She wasn’t hurting me.  Not really.  She was catching elbows and forearms and everything else with her wild attempts at punches.  I know how ground fighting works.  I can protect myself.  She wasn’t scoring any good strikes.  Honestly I could have held out fine until the cops showed up.  She didn’t leave at marks on me.  She had no power behind her punches.  Her technique was crap. 

The reality of it is that I told her what she wanted because I was afraid she was going to break her hands and all her fingers trying to punch me.  And then how would she beg for money or give handjobs or whatever she does to make a living?  I felt sorry for her is what it was.  Even with all she’s done to me I can feel sympathy for someone like her. 

Plus, I don’t even really need that magic artifact.  I’m powerful without it.  I was bored with it anyway.

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