Last night a fan gave me an old comics book. Dude called Stardust the Super Wizard.
I don’t normally like that comics but I had a good laugh at this one. Stardust is a man. Not what I was expecting. Wait did I say man? I mean 18-foot-tall alien from outer space. He’s not actually a wizard, he’s a scientist and his technology is so advanced that he seems magic.
Stardust the Super Wizard lives on the sun and walks around in booty shorts and no shirt. His gimmick is that he can see the future. Does he therefore prevent crime before it happens? He does not. That would not be okay. He waits until the bad guys commit the crimes and then tortures them in an ironic way.
Say the bad guys steal money, well ala-kazam. Stardust use alien science to turn the bad guys dicks into money! Or if you want to kill a bunch of people Stardust the Super Wizard makes you hump the dead bodies. This Stardust guy is messed up.
Sometimes he just beats the shit out of criminals because he’s massive and strong. Like a wizard. He’s supposed to be a hero. I guess people in the 1940s had different ideas about criminal justice.
The best part for me is that all his “enemies” are just normal people with no powers. Stardust the Super Wizard can basically do anything and nothing can hurt him so of course you match him up against normal people. That’s good booking.
This character is so old and dumb that he’s become public domain, which means anyone can use it for anything. I need to find someone to make me some shirts where I’m putting Stardust the Super Wizard in a figure four. Or just our faces with ‘Battle of the Wizards’.