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I think I really screwed up.  There’s something wrong with me. 

I can’t sleep.  I can’t concentrate.  Sometimes I feel like everything is moving at super speed and I can’t keep up.  The next moment feel like everyone else is underwater and barely moving while I zip around like a hummingbird.  I can’t drive because I’m too fucked up.  It’s not safe.

The only thing that feels kind of okay is sitting in the dark.  Dark, dark, with a towel over my head and my hands over my eyes even with all the lights off. 

I drank half a bottle of Rittenhouse Straight Rye and I still can’t sleep.  I don’t remember buying it.  I can’t move around and I can’t stay still.  I canceled my next show.  I’m just pacing and sitting in the corner of my motel room. 

I don’t feel like I’m myself.  I feel like my entire body has been replaced.  I don’t know.  Something isn’t right. 

I don’t know what to do.  Even if I could afford to go to the hospital, what can I tell a doctor?  I cast the wrong spell in the wrong place?