The amazingly incarcerated Grace

This is the longest I’ve ever gone without posting.  After that time Bloody Mary bashed my skull in was only 17 days I think.

On the way to Chicago, I worked a boatshow in Jonesboro.  Not a good sidetrack.  I didn’t even get paid.  Normally that would be the worst thing that happened to me, but then I got arrested.  A big pudgy kid and a skinny older guy showed up and told me I was being arrested for 1st degree assault in Missouri.  Pudge seemed embarrassed to be doing it.  I suppose they don’t arrest too many women for “malicious wounding”.  Or maybe it was because his uniform didn’t fit very well. 

I’ve heard people say that the wheels of justice move slowly but it seemed like a decent pace to me.  The state that wants you has 30 days to file an extradition request.  If that request is approved, they have 21 days to send some of their people to pick you up.   I could have been in Arkansas lock-up a while but it was only a couple of days.   

Because I didn’t bond out and because it was a felony charge, I was arraigned two days after they brought me back to Missouri.  The cops that picked me up were wrong, it was only 2nd degree assault I was being charged with.  Since I pled guilty, it was knocked down to 3rd degree.  That’s an E felony, which is the lowest level.  But I am a convicted felon now.  So I got that going for me. 

The good news is that in wrestling, a felony conviction is not big deal.  I wonder what percent of wrestlers DON’T have one.  I’d like to know that number. 

I could have been sentenced to 2 years’ probation, but with that I would have had to check in with an officer regularly so my lawyer advised that I take 60 days in jail instead.  She said she usually does that for addicts who know they’ll violate their probation by failing a drug test.  For me it was because of my “transient” lifestyle. 

Normally a felony conviction sends you to prison, but for E felonies with a term less than a year, you can be sent to jail instead.  I never knew there was a difference between jail and prison.  I’m told that in prison you have a more freedom and things to do because you’re there for longer.   Downside is the stabbings and sexual assault.

I can tell you at the Platte County Detention Center there wasn’t much to do.  Unless you were interested in drug abuse counseling or church services, the only form of entertainment was the TV in the dayroom that was always showing CBS.  You could request a book.  I tried to read a couple times but I couldn’t concentrate.  Listening to an audio book while I drive works great but having a book in my hands and sitting there?  I get too restless.  

I spent most of my time working on magic.  Not actually casting any spells but practicing centering and gathering energy.  It’s more than a little stupid but those sixty days in jail did more to help me get better with magic than anything else.  It requires times.  And I had it.   

A couple of women asked me if I was a Muslim.  I told them I was just into meditation.  I wonder if anything would have happened if I said I was.  I didn’t see any fights there.  Maybe that only happens in man jail.   

I have two takeaways from being locked up.  One is that there’s a lot more going on with nipples than I thought.  I wasn’t looking but you take enough communal showers and you see a few things.  There’s more nipple variation than I expected.   I figured nipples were nipples.   

Once I got out and got my phone back, I sat in my car looking at porn.  Which is probably what a lot of people do when they get out of jail, but this was for research.  It wasn’t helpful because their nipples were all similar.  I guess porn really doesn’t reflect reality. 

The second thing I learned is why people who have been in a long time can’t handle being out.  I was only inside a short time, but I get it.  You wake up when you’re told, you eat when you’re told, you do everything on a schedule.  You want the channel changed on the TV, you have to ask the day before.  You want a haircut, you have to request it.  Everything happens based on when someone else wants it to happen.  Deal with that for years and it’s going to be hard to even remember what it’s like to make your own decisions. 

Anyway, that’s over.  On to Chicago. 

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