I have a room at the Rodeway Inn in Ontario, which is close enough to Rancho Cucamonga. It’s not much for 80 damn dollars a night but it’s the cheapest I could find. The money I socked away working for PPW is dwindling rapidly.
I’ve been spinning my wheels and stalking my target on social media. That sounds bad. Not the stalking part, the “target” part. Sounds murdery. Let’s say I’ve been doing investigation online.
She posted that she was attending one of her woman’s empowerment things, and I saw that it was open to the public. I went to the cheapest place I could find to get some semi-professional clothing. It wasn’t the kind of place where a sales person would help you but the cashier there was bored enough or curious enough that she did come over to ask if I needed anything.
She talked me into trying on a skirt for the first time. It was bonkers. I don’t know how anyone can walk around feeling so restricted. What if you need to run away from something? Or kick someone? They only had one pair of pants long enough for my legs so that’s what I got. The get up looked ridiculous to me but it was probably alright. Now I have something to wear if I ever decide that I want to show up for one of my court dates. Which I won’t.
The plan was to get close to her and see if I could sense anything magic. That’s the best I could come up with. But even that didn’t work. I was sidling up to her at a table of bagels and fruit when two MMA reject looking dudes in black security shirts intercepted me. Seemed like some pretty heavy security for a women’s empowerment meeting.
They told me this was for members only and I would have to leave. I should have said that I was a member and seen what they did, but instead I said that I had read online that it was open to the public. They explained that it was a free seminar but members only. I asked if I could stay since I was already there. That was a hard no.
They escorted me out into the lobby and eventually the conference doors were shut to make sure I didn’t pick up any stray empowerment, which is for members only. I figured I could just sneak back in, but the doors were fucking locked.
I milled around the lobby for a while until a woman with a plastered-on smile came out to talk to me about the program and becoming a member. The introductory level is free, all you have to do is give them all your personal information and sign a form that you’ll become a paying member of the next level within 3 weeks or be charged a cancellation fee of $247.
I declined, saying I was already empowered enough for now.
The show Shrill on Hulu has a great episode about female empowerment conventions, check it out if you know anyone who has Hulu.
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I’ve heard that’s a pretty good show, which I believe has been cancelled as is the streaming model for good shows