Buy and bounce

I don’t know much about drugs.  My first girlfriend smoked a lot of weed.  She never offered me any.  At the time I didn’t think anything of it because I have no interesting in smoking weed.  Looking back at it now it seems strange that she never offered.  But she was pretty selfish and I don’t think she really like me that much so it makes sense in context.

One time when I was playing Battletech with a dude he offered me some weed that he was smoking.  I declined but that seems like proper drug etiquette.  A lot of time when people talk about their drug use I don’t believe them, partially because I am untrusting and partially because I think some people do it to seem cool.  This guy told me that cocaine is the worst drug because all it does it make you want to do more cocaine.  I believed that.

There’s a trope you see in media sometimes where a character goes to buy the drugs and the drug seller and his cronies then act like the drug buyer is being discourteous by trying to leave instead of staying the doing the drugs with them.  And so then the drug buyer caves to pressure and stays to do drugs with them.  Because of the aforementioned reason I have no idea if this is something that really happens.  But it would drive me insane if it was true and I was a drug guy.  I came to get drugs and instead I go home with no drugs because the people I just bought the drugs from ate all my drugs?  What kind of bullshit is that? 

That would really annoy me.

When I was in college I used to have a dream that I was driving in my car and the god Marduk would appear in the passenger seat and encourage me to get “really into pills”.  I did not do that.  What if that really was Marduk?  And me becoming a pillhead was somehow important on a cosmic scale?  Marduk really blew it there.  His sales pitch was just “do it”.

I guess I “do” caffeine all the time and that’s a drug.  It’s not even intentional.  Once I reduced my sugar intake I looked for tasty sugar free beverages and they’re all energy drinks.  It seems to have no effect on me.  People lose their shit because I’m drinking an energy drink after 3 PM – YOU’LL NEVER SLEEP EVER AGAIN they scream.  I sleep just fine.  It’s not good for me though, in terms of potential heart explosion.  You really can’t win.  Everything is bad for you except kale and water, and the water is all polluted.  Also the kale probably has e coli.

But Jeremy what about that Propel Water you liked it had no caffeine?  GONE.  But what about the sugar free PowerAde?  GONE.  What about . . . GONE!

Any grocery item that I like goes away in a few months.  The question is how do I make money off this power?  It’s tricky because I have to like the thing, not just buy it.  The first idea that comes to mind is short selling stock, but usually the company is fine, they just stop selling that product.  Is there some way I can rip off the grocery store as a supplier with this ability? 

One time there was a show called Mythbusters.  I talk about it sometimes.  The TV told me talking about Mythbusters mean you’re a dork.  They dealt with a lot of dangerous stuff on that show but there were only two things that really seemed to make them nervous.  One was powerful magnets because magnets are the silent killer.  The other was caffeine. 

The amount of caffeine in things we drink is pretty small.  It doesn’t take much caffeine to seriously harm you.  I don’t know how hard it is to get a jug of pure caffeine but as I understand it you could use that to murder a bunch of people. 

Also one time they dropped a piano on a house.


  1. Also they couldn’t get that dead pig smell out of a car. I also enjoyed the episode where they used their collected earwax to make a candle and after lighting it nearly vomit-rocketed to the moon. WHAT DID THEY EXPECT?!?!?

    I sometimes wonder about things and then look them up on the internet to see what’s up with that. Soda pop gets it’s caffeine from coffee. Neat.
    I enjoy the Body Armor beverages, those might? work for you, but I can’t figure out a way for you to make money off of things you like being discontinued. Maybe if you figured out their direct competitor & then invest in those things since their market will go up probably when their competitor is discontinued?

    Also I’m curious if the person who offered you the drugs also offered us both drugs when we were playing Necromunda at his house while also explaining the plot of the Matrix to us, which….is this the actual plot or are you on drugs….wait, you are definitely on drugs.

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