Johnny Polite

I like wrestling.  I’ve thought and written a lot about why.  I still don’t know. 

There’s a wrestler called John Morrison (no relation) aka Johnny Nitro, aka Johnny Impact, aka Johnny Blackcraft, aka Johnny Mundo, aka Johnny Superstar, aka Johnny Ultra, aka Johnny Onyx, aka Johnny Blaze, aka Johnny Mega, etc.  

He’s a pretty great wrestler but for whatever reason he’s always been a second tier guy.  He’s not a great promo, maybe that’s why.  There could be a lot of reasons.  Although the stakes are much lower making it in the pretend fighting biz is a lot like making it in Hollywood – there’s a lot of factors, including a good dose of randomness. 

A while ago after leaving the WWE he wanted to be a movie guy.  He played the titular Hercules in a Hercules movie no one saw – not the one you’re thinking of, the Rock was Hercules in that movie that no one saw.  The same year there was a competing Hercules movie that even less people saw.  That’s the one he was in. 

He wrote his own movie called Boone the Bounty Hunter.  I’ve not seen it, but by most accounts it’s a better than okay action movie.  He mortgaged his house and called in ever favor had could to make it himself.  No one saw it.  Why would they?  Even most wrestling people aren’t going to go see a movie because John Morrison (no relation) is in it.  That’s barely any different from me making a movie. 

After that he was on Survivor.  I haven’t watched Survivor since the first season (which I did like) but I was told that everyone thought he was awesome on that show.  Makes sense, he knows how to be entertaining and unlike some wrestlers he’s actually athletic.  According to Jeff Probst, Johnny is “the guy who catches the winning touchdown pass in the final moments of the Super Bowl, and then, instead of some crazy celebration, he casually tosses the ball to the ref, kisses his wife and hugs his kids”.  I’m not exactly sure what that means but it sounds like a compliment.  He was eliminated from the show in SHOCKING fashion. 

One time he tried to make a fitness and wellness program and again spent a ton of his own money on it, but it was a DVD thing right when everyone stopped caring about DVDs.  He got involved with someone who wanted to turn it into a streaming service but that ended up being a scam and the after a couple of years of litigation Johnny Plaintiff gave up on trying to get his money back. 

I don’t know Johnny Superstar, I’ve never met him, but I’ve heard that he’s a solid dude.  I mean he likes dogs but no one is perfect.

While I was doing yoga today (I do yoga sometimes when I’m in pain, jealous?) I started thinking about old Johnny Nitro.  You can’t say that the guy is a failure, he’s got a career in wrestling and has done a lot of things and was the top guy in a lot of minor league wrestling companies, but he’s taking some big swings and it’s never worked out. 

I was just thinking about how even if you try your best and have plenty of reasons you should succeed you probably won’t.  Now I’ve been accused of dwelling on the negative, and rightfully so, but I don’t really see that as a negative. You’re probably going to fail a lot more than you succeed, and that’s fine.  Life goes on. 

It’s like my yoga lady with the crucifix tramp stamp says when I can’t fully extend on my left side – you don’t get angry or frustrated about it, you accept it for what it is.  That’s where you need to work.  Tomorrow is another day.