Rules are made to be followed

Wrestling has a lot of rules.  I don’t mean the fake rules of the fake sport of wrestling.  I mean the real rules of the job.  Some are more important than others.  Don’t go over your time is a big one.  It’s more important when you’re on TV, but even at the shows I work, it’s not good to go over your allotted time.  Lose when you’re supposed to lose.  That’s a pretty damn important one too. 

I was booked to work a seven minute match with Lady Lone Star and lose.  Instead, we did a twenty minute match and I won.  That’s triple the time allotted and the wrong result.  I got yelled at.  A lot.  I didn’t even mean to do it.  I was so preoccupied thinking about Gary, I was on auto-pilot.  Until I got backstage and the promoter started screaming at me, I would have told you we were out there a little more than seven minutes.

I used to think that I was good at focusing.  Pro athletes talk about locking in.  Two years ago, I would have told you I was great at that.  Instead, I think I never had two things to think about at the same time back then.  I think maybe I suck at focusing. 

The promoter also crawled up my ass because during the match, I grabbed an old man’s cane at ringside and broke it over Lady Lone Star’s back.  I don’t remember doing this.  He said he wasn’t going to pay me to make up for buying the old man a new cane.  How much does a cane cost though?  Thirty bucks?  I think I got ripped off.

I went out and apologized to the old man.  He wasn’t sore about it, he said it loved it.  He laughed and talked about Skandor Akbar taking after him at the Sportatorium ’81.  I also apologized to Lady Lone Star but she wasn’t mad either.  She said it was her best match ever.  She did admit to being confused about why I kept kicking out of her finish. 

I found Gary backstage telling some of the boys about the benefits of mutual funds.  With his disheveled appearance, they probably thought he was a guy with a crazy businessman gimmick – it’s been done a few times.  I told him to quit jaw-jacking and buckle up because it was time for his first good deed of his new non-evil life.

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