I called up Morgan Kingwood to see if he was interested in working an angle. Make some money out of our real beef. He said if he ever saw me again, he was going to run me down with his Caddy. I still think it’s a good idea. People take things too personally.
Last night I worked a woman called Red Cap. Maybe because she wears a red baseball cap. Maybe because of a mythological creature that wears a hat soaked in blood. But probably because of the red caps on the barbiturate she likes to get high on.
Almost half of the “crowd” was one large extended family. I noticed them because they seemed much more interested in fussing over an old man in a wheelchair than watching the matches. He was a paunchy old mummy with a wild fringe of white hair around his head like a crown. He seemed mildly interested in the matches and immensely annoyed by the ministrations of his family.
One of his minders wheeled him backstage along with a very striking looking woman to translate. I swear she looked like a model. It’s hard to image those wrinkly old balls eventually leading to a woman like that. The guy pushing the wheelchair spoke English so I’m not sure why she was there too. Division of labor, I guess.
He asked me by way of his granddaughter (great grand-daughter?) if I was the one looking for Eterno Corazon. When I said that I was, he told me following tale. As it was told, I could see the wheelchair pusher rolling his eyes dramatically and making “what can you do about old people” gestures. I guess that’s why the model was brought in, she translates without editorializing.
The old man claimed that he wrestled with Eterno and his brothers in the 50’s. At that time, Eterno was known as Mejia Torres. He says that Mejia, his two brothers, and he were visited by an angel who told them to give up wrestling and start fighting the forces of evil.
He said that from 1958 to 1961, the four of them traveled small towns along the border getting shit-faced and porking farm girls by day and fighting ‘Tlahuelpuchi’ by night – evil people that turn themselves into animals. Animals such as wolves.
He says that this came to an end when the Tlahuelpuchi captured Mejia and turned his heart wicked with their soul magic. Mejia betrayed and killed his brothers, the old man ran away to the states and never looked back. The dark magic is why Eterno is young and virile (he looks like he’s in his 40s to me) despite being more than a century old.
When she finished translating this, the model had about as much reaction as if she had just asked me if I was in line at Subway (eat fresh). The wheelchair pusher apologized for his grandpa telling crazy stories. I think the old man would have bitch slapped him if he could.
I thanked him for telling me this and asked him what I could do about it. He said “sácalo de su miseria”.
So. Yeah.
Porking farm girls is everybody’s favorite.