I used the last of my bare-knuckle fighting money to buy a 2007 Kia Sedona with 200,000 miles on it. At least it has room to sleep in it. I keep hoping that Royale’s trunk will show up in the back. I guess it’s really destroyed. Along with all his notes and things he wanted me to have.
Despite that loss, I’m glad all that happened is my car got destroyed. It could have been much worse. If she had started using her magic to just push the guys in the ring at the right time, she could have really hurt people. It would be so easy for her to make someone fall and break their neck. That’s become my nightmare. I expect to see her face at every show now.
But she seems content just to taunt me by text. I wonder if I went to the cops and told them a teenager girl was cyber-bullying me, if they would just shrug or actually laugh in my face.
I don’t know of a worse feeling than helplessness. She’s out there, doing bad shit, and what can I do about it? I looked at some psychology websites. I didn’t find it very helpful. Practicing compassionate, healthy self-talk doesn’t seem relevant to my situation.
I wonder if I told Mr. Petticord about her if he would kill her. Getting someone else to do it wouldn’t make me not a murderer, but it’s more palatable than doing it myself. I’m not going to think about it anymore. Does that make me a coward for not having the grit to go through with it? Or is not arranging the murder of a child and then looking the other way the right thing to do?
Can it be both?