While I was on the treadmill today my big toenail ripped in half. Probably because I’m such a beast and was hitting it so hard. I’ll be shredded in no time. Or maybe because I don’t eat enough kale or dumb leafy greens (or any vegetables). Or maybe because T-Rex is vampiring off my bone marrow. She’s already sleep vampiring me. But it’s cool, when you love someone you don’t mind a little thing like vampirism.
Sometimes when I’m messing around with my dumb blogs I see a blog that has 16,000 followers and all it does it repost tweets. It’s not even plagiarizing them – it’s just a screenshot of twitter. And I think about all my GENIUS original content that no one cares about and get a little whiny about it. But then I see another blog where someone is saying they’re going to kill themselves because only three people read their blog. And I don’t want to be like that.
Years ago I was at grandmas for Christmas. My cousin got a present. That present was a movie on DVD. I don’t remember the name of the movie but it was something like “National Lampoon’s Sex Boob Bikini Pool Party 18”. And before he even got all the wrapping paper off he jumped up on his parents and was freaking out asking if it was the unrated version. He said, and I quote “Is this the unrated version? I asked for the unrated version. The normal version does me no good. It has to be the unrated version.”
It was one of the more revolting things I’ve seen. First of all why did you even ask your parents to get you that? Second of all you can read asshole, it says unrated right on the box. And third how about you chill the fuck out about interrogating your parents about the softcore porn they bought you?
Why they bought it for him is another question.
I don’t read comics much anymore. Every now and then Amazon recommends something for me and buy it. Usually Amazon is pretty good at recommendations. This last one was more mediocre. It recommended to me the comic Hack/Slash and I remember reading somewhere what it was pretty good. It was okay. It was a little weird because it was presented as something of a rebuke to “sexy” comic heroines but there was a lot of that thing they do in comics where the women have snake spines that allow them to point their half-sphere breasts and ham hock asses in the same direction while they do a flip or some shit.
That was only a little annoying. What super grossed me out is that I happened upon an interview with the guy who writes Hack/Slash and he went on at length about how hot the main character is. It’s funny, there are some people who can’t understand why anyone could be turned on by a drawing and then there’s a person like that.
Recently I was looking at commissioning some art and etsy was being annoying so I thought I’d try Deviantart – which has lots of cool art. BIG mistake. In the commission area it was page and page and page of boobs, many of which crossed the line into being disturbing so far that they couldn’t even see the line from where they were.
Whenever I see this stuff I wonder why someone who’s good at drawing would waste their time drawing that. I said as much to T-Bird and she says to me in so many words “what else would guys draw?” I don’t know why I have that mental block when it comes to thinking that a good artist would be above drawing naked ladies all the live long day but I do.
#1 obviously your cousin CAN’T read, and had to ask which version it was. If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s feeding someone’s addiction is a GREAT idea.
#2 I know a dude who draws professionally and it’s not all boobs. It’s the hack illustrators who can only sell their stuff on Deviantart that only draw boobs. (Sick Dev-art burn?)
Super sick brah