It’s hard to say things are going well when you live in a car and have three pairs of clothes. I’ll say things are back to normal instead. It feels wrong somehow.
I’ve heard people talk about survivor’s guilt. I guess that’s what this is. People in the comments have said that there was nothing I could have done. I don’t know if that’s true. But it doesn’t make me feel better even if it is true.
I used to feel close to my own death all the time. I got used to it. Sometimes I didn’t care if I died. I’ve never had to deal with someone else’s death before. Not really. I remember a guy talking about his dad dying and he said that he expected the world to end. And instead nothing happened. People just did the same stuff they always did. That messed him up.
It’s like that. A teenage girl was murdered. And the murderer got away with it. And the world just keeps on spinning like it doesn’t matter. It makes you think that nothing matters.
I remember the guy in church once saying that people who do bad stuff and people who don’t do anything to stop those people are the same. I think he was talking about abortion but I’ll ignore that fact.
I tell myself not to think about it if it upsets me so much. But that seems wrong too. I feel like I should be doing something. Maybe I just watch too many movies. Maybe in the real world you can’t save anyone.
Rocket Cat 