Bad news folks

Turns out the reason that I often write female characters is because I hate women. I was checking out some blogs the other day and one of the blogs I peeped on came back and blog peeped me and found the question where I wondered why I so often write female characters. They did an admittedly cursory review of my other blogs and came to the conclusion that the most likely reason that I write female characters is that my writing is sadistic and horrible and I choose female characters because I want to torture them. This is certainly troubling news.

Here’s something I was thinking today that is probably an example of my woman-hate. Whenever a sitcom has a character on the show get pregnant because the actor is pregnant in real life they never get the timing right. When they start the “we’re going to try have a baby” storyline on the show the actor already looks pregnant.

This is anti-feminist for a couple of reason. One I’m talking about women having babies which is not allowed as it is reductive and regressive. Two I’m commenting on a woman’s appearance which is a big no no. And three, sitcoms are by their very nature based on a double standard with regards to acceptable levels of attractiveness. While male actors are generally held to a high standard of attractiveness, there are still plenty of roles available for plain looking guys, or more often, your standard funny fatman . The beauty standard for women, however, is much higher; in order to be a leading lady it is a prerequisite that they be physically attractive.

Making matters worse the wife is often beautiful on the outside only and on the inside she’s a cruel and controlling spiteful bitch who doesn’t deserve the kindness of her pathetic beta cuck husband. Also I’m talking about women’s appearances again! I really am the worst.

On the plus side of the column though I figured out how to fix Counselor Troi in Star Trek. Reveal that on the many, many, many, many episodes she wasn’t in it’s because she was off working secret spy missions for the federation. And then explain also that the episodes she was in and did nothing was because she was intentionally trying to keep a low profile in her cover job of being a counselor on the flagship.