Eat Fresh

I got a DM from a guy today offering me fifty bucks if I send him a nude picture wearing Joker make-up.  Turns out that I do have chances to sell out, they’re just really cheap.

A few weeks ago I got a call from someone saying they wanted to book me for a bare-knuckle fighting match.  I thought it was a crank call at the time.  At the show today a guy was talking about a bare-knuckle fighting league.  It’s a real thing.  Given my MMA “career” I wasn’t sure why they would want me for anything.  Then I realized there has to be a very small pool of women who are willing to get bare knuckle punched in the face.  They’ll probably take anyone they can find.

The guy was a real piece of work.  Besides a wrestler he’s also a minor league hockey goalie and he was going on about how he would dominate in the bare-knuckle fighting league if he wasn’t going to be in the NHL soon. 

Then he started complaining about how in minor league hockey they tell you to get in fights because that’s the only reason anyone comes to watch a minor league hockey game. He was worried that fighting he could get injured and blow his chances to making it to the pros.  I asked him why they just didn’t fake the fights.  As a wrestler he should understand that better than anyone.

He got red in the face and started shouting about how he loves fighting and how tough he is and how he killed a man once when he was a boxer.  I backed off because he definitely seemed like someone who would have no issue punching a woman in the face in front of witnesses.  

I watched his match.  He came to the ring in an old style hockey mask like that guy from Friday the 13th.  He wasn’t great but he wasn’t terrible.  I stole his wallet and one of his spare masks while he was out there.  It’s okay because he was an asshole.  Fifty three bucks and a Subway loyalty card.  

That’s more than I got paid for the show.

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