If there’s one thing I hate (and there isn’t, there are tons of things I hate) it’s when someone brags about not watching TV but is a big fat liar and does watch TV. If you think TV is gross and you don’t want to watch it great, although I don’t really like to hear those people bragging either. On the other hand if you love TV and watch it all the time but want people to think you don’t do that you’re human garbage.
I got tired of fighting with DirectTV so I have nothing anymore. Streaming services are all lame so the question is what will I do now? There is nothing on my horizon except everything. Everything is on my horizon. I am ready to face any challenges that might be foolish enough to face me.
I’ll probably sleep most of the time. That seems like a good use of time. Maybe I’ll play a video game. I think I bought a game on Steam once and never installed it. I don’t understand Steam, if I have to install the game why do I also have to be connected to the internet to make it work? What kind of software as a service is that? To be fair though I don’t understand anything.
I’ll probably start another blog. This one will be about Devinoni Ral. I’m sure you remember him from the third season Star Trek the Next Generation episode “The Price”. Devinoni Ral is a half betazed who pretends to be human so he can read people’s emotions and get the edge in negotiations. According to the dialog this is not cool, but it seems like what betazeds do all the time. You probably remember it as the episode where Troi and Beverly do “sexy” space aerobics in front of a mirror.
It was a terrible episode like most Troi episodes. See she was into the guy because . . . reasons. Devinoni Ral was played by Matt McCoy who you probably remember as the guy who took over for Steve Guttenberg in the later Police Acamdey movies and as and Lloyd Braun from Seinfeld.
The blog will be about an alternative timeline where after the events of “the Price” Troi gets the boot because she’s awful and Devinoni Ral becomes the new half-betazed in residence. Each post will be a recap of the original Troi episode and then how it would be different with Devinoni Ral instead.
For instance, the next episode is The Vengeance Factor. Originally in this episode some space pirates attack a Federation outpost and the Enterprise goes to ask the people whose blood they find there what the deal is. The people are like “those are pirates bro not law abiding citizens, help us kill the pirates” but Picard is like “killing is bad let’s use words”. But one of the people is a genetically engineered super assassin designed to killed pirates and she kills some of them. Riker wanted to bang her but being an assassin isn’t okay so he shoots her instead.
In the Devinoni Ral version when the assassin lady comes on board he goes “that lady is an assassin, I’m psychic!” and they put her in the brig before she can kill anyone. The peace talks go off without a hitch and the pirates are integrated back into non-pirate society. Everyone is happy. Thanks Devinoni Ral!
You probably remember the woman who played the assassin from A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master and A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child.
So that will probably take a lot of my time.
For 99.9% of games on steam there’s a play offline option. Just saying. Sleep is always the enemy. Never sleep. Maybe try new recipes, or better yet just come up with recipes and post them online. Make sure you tell YOUR ENTIRE LIFE STORY before the recipe though. You can’t just have a recipe for something anymore, it has to be your whole life story, then the recipe.
I do have a pretty interesting life story. One time I got knocked down but I got up again. They wrote a song about it and I didn’t see dime one from those thieves.