Go to hell Ronda Rousey, there’s a new most dangerous woman in the world!

A security company came out with their list of the most dangerous celebrities the other day.  Dangerous in this context being the most likely when you search for their name to take you to a site that serves up malware or something nefarious like that.   Number one on the list is little Anna Kendrick.  The hackers have officially gone too far!  I can put up with a lot from cybercriminals but this is too much, too much I say!  You leave Anna Kendrick alone.  Unless those links are to fake porn of Anna Kendrick because anyone looking for that deserves to have their identity stolen.  Anna Kendrick is a national treasure.  Don’t try to sexualize her you monsters.  Sure she was in Twilight, but no one is perfect.  Except Anna Kendrick!  She was in Scott Pilgrim VS The World, the greatest achievement of mankind to date.

A line must be drawn in the sand, this far and no farther!  If we don’t act now what’s to become of little Anna Kendrick?  And what will become of us?  If we can’t protect Anna Kendrick then what good are we?  If you value anything in this life at all you need to step up and stand in the line of fire to protect little Anna Kendrick. 

I saw on my Anna Kendrick newsfeed today that people want her to be Rogue when the X-Men are integrated into the MCU.  That’s ludicrous.  Little Anna Kendrick is little, Rogue is big and bold and in control.  I’m speaking of course of Rogue are she absorbs the powers Carol Danvers, the original Ms. Marvel, I don’t care about little kid Rogue before that.  The whole absorbing thing is fine as a secondary deal – I like my Rogue flying around and smashing shit, not the teenage emo Rogue they’ve been serving up.  Neither is suitable for Anna Kendrick though.  She’s not even a redhead. 

Who should play Rogue?  Unimportant.  First we need to find a better role in the MCU for little Anna Kendrick.  My first thought is Echo, but in the comics Echo is a first nation person and whitewashing is out now so that won’t work.  So my second choice is Dazzler.  Doesn’t everyone hate Dazzler?  Yes, but it’s unfair, sure she was pretty lame when she first came around but she’s pulled out of that.  Not to mention he fact that once Anna Kendrick gets her tiny little hands on that role she’ll make everyone love Dazzler!  You can’t have Longshot without Dazzler and I assume that all of the new X-Men movies will mostly be about the Mojoverse so dot dot dot.  A fun way to slam people for being overweight is to talk about who should be cast as Mojo.  I mean he’ll be CGI but it will still hurt people’s feelings. 

One movie with Arcade as the villain would also be acceptable. 

Sidenote, Sean “Puffy” Combs is number two on the dangerous celebrity list which is perplexing.  I didn’t know he was still that much in people’s mind to make laying traps with his name worthwhile.  Julia Roberts is also on the list, again I didn’t know that she still had the star power to be worth basing your malicious activities on her.  You know whose way better than Julia Roberts?  Anna Kendrick.    

There’s nothing lamer than complaining about customer service online. 

In other news I’m the dumbest man alive.  The most recent example is that I still have DirecTV when everyone else in the country under 65 has cut the cord.  Normally it’s fine, which is probably why I’m too lazy to cancel it, but every few years when I need to deal with them for something it’s always terrible.  And it’s gotten much worse since AT&T bought them. 

For several days I had an annoying banner on my TV saying I had to upgrade my equipment.  They send me said equipment but it doesn’t work with the dish I have.  So now I have nothing.  I’m the one person in the world who still watches TV instead of Youtube channels about videogames and Instagram stories about how to be an anti-racist.  Without me TV ratings are plummeting as we speak.  Shows are being cancelled left and right. 

In case you were wondering AT&T has the worst website in the universe.  It’s SOOOOOOOO slow and every link is broken.  But the good news is they want you do everything on their website.  Or Facebook.  Facebook is for troubleshooting HDMI cable issues now if you didn’t know.   

So I get all mad and say I should cancel it and just watch Cocomelon – Nursery Rhymes and PewDiePie like normal people but I won’t.  I love you TV, I love you so much.  You taught me everything I know.  And sure, I don’t know much, but you did the best you could TV, I could never stay mad at you.  I just wish you loved me back. 

In conclusion, Anna Kendrick, TV, America, Faith , Family , Country, Business.

I got my ticket for the long way ’round

Two bottle o’ whiskey for the way

And I sure would like some sweet company

And I’m leavin’ tomorrow, what do you say?

When I’m gone

When I’m gone

You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone

You’re gonna miss me by my hair

You’re gonna miss me everywhere, oh

You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone

I got my ticket for the long way ’round

The one with the prettiest of views

It’s got mountains, it’s got rivers

It’s got sights to give you shivers

But it sure would be prettier with you

When I’m gone

When I’m gone

You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone

You’re gonna miss me by my walk

You’re gonna miss me by my talk, oh

You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone