Death by chicken

I googled how to find out who owns a business which didn’t yield much, but googling how to find out who owns a building worked better.  I’m not sure of the address of the diner, it’s kind of in the middle of nowhere.  Its strange location could be part of it too – maybe that place naturally has more magic flowing to it?  Without an address I was still eventually able to find it on the tax assessor’s website.  Steve’s All-Nite Diner is owned by Raymond Pine.   Some internet snooping didn’t really tell me much about Raymond Pine though, or even if I had the right Raymond Pine.  I’m not sure what I was looking for, but I had to do something.

Another thing I had to do was drive 400 miles to Frankfurt.  In doing so I got a little drowsy and almost slammed into a poultry truck.  I don’t think that I’m a bad driver but I don’t have a license and no one ever taught me how to drive, I just learned on my own.  Which is probably not a good thing to have done.  Many wrestlers die because their hearts explode because they’re on every drug known to man. But a lot also die in car wrecks because they drive all the time, often late at night/early in the morning.  Also they’re drunk sometimes when they’re doing that, which doesn’t help.  What would really be great is a transportation spell.  I should look into that.

I got to the venue around noon and messed around on my phone for a while seeing what else I could find out about Raymond Pine or the diner before falling asleep.  I was woken up by a cop tapping on my window.  This happens sometimes.  I told him I was a wrestler and I was there to work a show and he was cool with it.  I’ve been charged with vagrancy a time or two, and since I never appeared in court or paid the fine there’s probably some warrants out there for me.  I’m not a criminal though, I swear.

Before the show, one of the promoter’s lackeys was hassling me about my intro music – specifically that I have none.  I’ve been hassled about not having a gimmick and not having a finish and not having the right gear but this is this first time I’ve gotten crap about not having music.  If you ask me these small venues trying to do shit like on the TV just ends up making things worse.  This guy had a fucking boombox that he was going to hold up to the PA mic and he’s worried about me making the show look “bush league” by not having music for him to play?  My theory is if you’re going to run a show don’t try to make it look like the WWE, that just ends up making you look worse by inviting the comparison. 

My opponent was called Prinsexxy which is supposed to be a mash-up of princess and sexy but it doesn’t sound right to my ear – those two words don’t meld together.  She wasn’t much of a wrestler but she had a great outfit.  Slutty Disney Princess isn’t an earthshaking gimmick but she had a great look – she came down to the ring in a robe or a gown that was coral pink and had big wing-like things and feathers and all kinds of shit.  It looked great, the entrance anyway. As I said, once she got in the ring she didn’t look so hot.  Some people will tell you the entrance is half of what people remember.  Maybe I should work on something other than walking to the ring without fanfare doing nothing. 

The kind of shows I work are a hodgepodge, you get people like her that have put a lot of money into their shtick and then fifteen guys in sweatpants and a black t-shirt.  Some of them don’t even have boots.  I get crap for my ring gear but at least I have boots.  What I want to know is where did Slutty Disney Princess get the cash for something like that?  I saw her luggage backstage, that’s not her only get-up.  She has several other equally elaborate rigs.  She’s working the same show I am for thirty-five bucks.  How can she afford all that gear?   

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s