Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see – The Quick Brown Megan Fox Jumped over the Lazy Mound (Dream Journal 1)

Last night I dreamed that I was back working at Wells Fargo, so I guess it was a nightmare am I right? They were having an employee appreciation luncheon (in lieu of insurance/health benefits) in some fancy hotel. Of course Megan Fox was there with a cadre of handsome male companions. I don’t remember what it was, but there was something on the buffet that I really liked and I was sitting by myself away from everyone else going to town.

Megan Fox and her handsome male companions come over and they start laying into me – fat pig this and gross monster that, their point being that I didn’t need to eat anymore because I was already overweight. But it didn’t bother me and I just kept on working that fork.

Megan Fox was very angry that I wasn’t devastated by her cruel barbs and taunts so she and her handsome male companions retreated to the second floor that overlooked the dining area. They started plotting but they were right above me so I could hear everything. Megan Fox said to her handsome male companions “We have to get this asshole , we have to humiliate him because he seems to have some shred of self-respect and that simply will not do.” She explained the plan to her handsome male companions, she would seduce me but then right before we got down to banging she’d spit in my face and tell me how gross I am and how I would never have a woman like her. Also then her handsome male cronies would throw me naked off the balcony – not to kill me, just to hurt me real bad.

So Megan Fox comes back down and she puts the moves on me and I says to her I says “I’m taken honey, hit the showers.” This doesn’t sit well with Megan Fox.




She goes “But you’re ugly!” and I just shrug and say “yeah”.

Now Megan Fox is in a true rage. She runs back up to her handsome male companions and she’s done fooling around at this point, now it’s time to play hardball. She explains the new plan – they’ll wait for me to leave, follow me out into the parking lot, grab me , force me into the trunk of her 2020 Escalade SUV, drive me out to the country, kill me and bury me. Megan Fox knows a good spot where I’ll never be found.

At this point I shout up “You guys know I can hear you right?”

They didn’t.

Then “Never Gonna Give you Up” starts playing and I lead everyone in a choreographed dance routine.

Dream end.

Like most dreams it started out fine but the ending was nonsensical. I believe they call that an Gainax ending and it’s a real problem in dreams I’ve found. And I get it, the third act is always the hardest to write for me. Endings are tough. Learn story structure dreams!

Bonus now I have something to talk with Megan Fox about if I ever meet her.

“Hey, hey Megan, I had a dream about you!”

Pepper spray


  1. I’m shocked and astounded you didn’t bring up to Meghan that she was at a Wells Fargo party!?!? Seriously, this is the best you can do? Must have been the buffet. Also sad she didn’t bring along any of her Transformer friends to this gathering.

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